• SumoMe

I really must admit that the presentation packaging that these two products arrived in was over the top. It measured 12”X15”X3.5” and was a luxurious flat black with bright red letters embossed in the middle of the box that read; “A lady always appreciates what’s on the inside.” Using the attached little red ribbon I flipped open the top and was greeted by a full color poster on the inside with the headline; “A lady loves having options.” At the bottom of the poster was the closing copy that read; “Drink like a lady.”

Having curbed my male sexist chauvinistic pig tendencies decades ago, I didn’t pick up on the clues. Even the brand name of this hooch, Skinny Girl, should have made me aware of what was going on here. As a matter of fact, it didn’t hit me until I finally tried the margarita and peach margarita with a female friend that it truly dawned on me. These products are formulated and targeted to the female demographic.

The proof is in the pudding. These folks have managed to bring the calorie count down to 100 calories per 4 ounce serving. A real, old fashioned, made from scratch Margarita will easily weigh in at double those calories. This is quite helpful in keeping those girls skinny. The second factor is the alcohol count. These Margaritas are 12.7% alcohol by volume which works out to about 25 proof which is pretty much the alcohol content of wine. On the other hand your average Tequila is 40% alcohol by volume which makes it 80 proof. This allows those skinny girls to drink a few more Margaritas without getting fat or falling down drunk.

Now, when I drink Margaritas, I don’t mind getting fat or drunk because I like the burn and taste of the Tequila and I must admit I like the effects as well if not more. I know, I know, that sounds either pretty sexist or like the rantings of a fat old drunk but the facts is the facts. However, you are what you drink and the chart below explains it better than I can.

FEMALE DRINKS & WHO THEY ARE

She drinks: Beer 
Her personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
His approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. 

She drinks: Blender Drinks 
Her personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
His approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy. 

She drinks: Mixed Drinks 
Her personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance,
has very picky taste;
 knows EXACTLY what she wants. 
His approach: No approach necessary. If she’s interested,
she’ll
 send YOU a drink……

She drinks: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Her personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
His approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend
quiet evenings with
 friends.

She drinks: White Zinfandel 
Her personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated,
actually, she has
 NO clue. 
His approach: Make her feel smarter than she is……
this should be an easy
 target. 

She drinks: Shots 
Her personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk…
and
 naked.
His approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed.
There’s nothing to
 do but wait. But be careful not to make her mad! 

She drinks: Tequila 
No explanations required – everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
 

MALE DRINKS & WHO THEY ARE

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: Hopes the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid. 

Whiskey: He doesn’t give a damn about anything but getting laid. 

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He’s gay.

Okay, so now that I have uniformly insulted everyone on the planet, let’s get to the taste test before I get into more trouble. The Skinny Girl margarita has a heady nose of Tequila, lime and sweet and sour with the aromas all fairly distinct and not muddled together, so far so good. On the palate, it does a presto changeo and tastes nothing like it smells. The Tequila takes a back seat to a strong citrus and lime taste combined with a bit of grapefruit. The Tequila is faintly there but is overpowered by the other flavors. The sweetness provided by the agave nectar is faint but discernible. It is well balanced between sweet and sour. Personally, I would like the Tequila to be more pronounced and up front. The finish is smooth and short leaving a tingle of tartness. On the rocks, the dilution dulls all the flavors and the finish leaves me wanting something a bit stronger and a bit more distinctly flavorful.

The Skinny Girl White Peach Margarita indeed has a very peachy nose that’s a bit sharp but is definitely peachy. I can detect no Tequila in the nose. In the glass, the sharpness disappears and the peach aroma becomes warm and fruity just like a real peach, nicely done. On the palate I get a watered down flavor of peach, a bit of citrus and lime and a faint trace of Tequila. The finish is smooth and tart and pleasant. Somehow this Margarita leaves me wanting more, more pronounced and distinct flavors and definitely a stronger and more distinct taste of Tequila.

Slipping back into sexist pig mode for a moment, I hypothesize that women wanting to watch their figures and desiring a pleasant, long evening of partying without ugly consequences would gravitate to these Margaritas as they would certainly fit their bill. They are pleasant and not overpowering drinks, low in calories and low in alcohol. However, being a cantankerous fat, old alcoholic, it leaves me wanting more so I am going to go fix myself a high octane, high fat, over the top Margarita made with full strength Tequila and more than likely make it a double. At $13.00 – $17.00 per 750ml bottle, it’s priced just about right. Watch for deals on this product.

By George Brozowski