If you’ve been driving yourself crazy searching high and low for that perfect spirit to consume before, during and/or after your next French themed, multiple person, over the top wild sex orgy, then I have great news for you. The name of this vodka, Ménage a Trois, spells it out very clearly for you. According to my Funk and Wagnall’s dictionary, ménage a trios is French for “household of three,” which is a polite way of saying that it’s a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same residence. (By the way, this really is your lucky day as these folks also produce over a dozen different wines under the Ménage a Trois label as well.)

So, you just gotta ask, who in the hell are these French loving sex maniacs? Turns out that they’re not French at all – but Italian, all these sexual spirits and wines are brought to you by Trinchero Family Estates, and these folks are not your Johnny come lately types trying to make a name for themselves with outrageous marketing ploys. This family has been active in Napa Valley since 1948, and their portfolio includes more than 40 brands including Sutter Home and Newman’s Own and alcohol free Fre wine. Judging by their successful 65 year run in the wine and spirits businesses, you gotta know that they know what they’re doing.

That being said, I did notice that they appropriated the logo for their Ménage a Trois vodka of two wildly dancing sprites from the Folie a Deux winery. This actually shows a bit of laziness on their part as Folie a Deux means a passion or madness shared by two – whereas it takes three to ménage a trios. I guess adding one more dancer to the label wasn’t all that important but the devil is in the details and the devil certainly rules all this French passion.

Menage a Trois Vodkas

At any rate, a Napa Valley based vodka should be pretty darned interesting if not at the very least highly intriguing. After doing some further research, it appears two wine-loving psychiatrists started Folie a Deux (which the Trinchero bought about ten years ago) so the mad scientists who whipped up the vodka for Ménage a Trois have a reputation to live up. As it comes from Napa, I simply can’t believe that they chose not to use grapes to produce this vodka and used corn instead. If all this French madness and sex and booze have got you as worked up as me, then there’s just one thing left to do and that’s to try this vodka, preferably with two extremely close friends.

The nose of this unflavored vodka is very clean with just a hint of grain and a touch of alcohol, but other than that, closely adheres to the colorless, odorless definition of vodka. On the palate, it is once again clean and straightforward with just a slight hint of citrus. It has a clean body that is not oily and sports a vague spritely tingle on the tongue but otherwise is truly tasteless, and I mean that in a very positive way. The finish is very smooth and clean and short. This is a delightful sipper on the rocks, and that is really about as far as I would go with regard to mixing it up, as this vodka should be enjoyed neat and clean, with maybe a twist of lemon. This is a super-premium vodka in every sense of the word. It looks like all that wild French sex in Napa Valley paid off.

And if that ain’t good enough for you, they currently also produce two flavored vodkas: Berry and Citrus. These two vodkas go a bit further in embracing that Ménage a Trois definition by actually using three different fruits in each flavor. The berry has raspberries, cranberries and pomegranate in it, while the citrus has lemons, limes and oranges. Here’s an interesting aside: most distillers, when they produce a flavored vodka, lower the alcohol content, but these folks have kept the alcohol at the same level as their unflavored vodka. Let’s see how these babies stack up.

Let’s start with the citrus flavor. The nose is very crisp and clean, and mostly, I get a sense of the lemon backed by the orange. There is virtually no alcohol in the aroma. On the palate, the tartness of the lemon and sweetness of the orange come front and center, backed by the lime. The taste is very natural and has layers of complexity that are quite unusual in a flavored vodka but greatly welcomed. The finish is dominated by the flavor of orange peel and lemon peel and clean and short and sweet, with absolutely no bite. On the rocks, the flavors blend together a bit more and present a delightfully citrusy palate, with an even smoother finish with more subtle flavors. By the by, this vodka makes a hell of a martini and it doesn’t need the lemon peel or orange peel garnish and all by itself is very appealing.

On to the Berry flavored vodka… WHOA, the raspberries dominate the nose, and I haven’t smelled such a delectable raspberry aroma since I went raspberry picking on a raspberry farm and made raspberry jam. (Did I really just use the word raspberry 5 times in one sentence?) This nose is absolutely delightful and smells just like the real thing. Yes, I can sense the cranberries and pomegranate in the background, but it’s way back in the background. The palate does not disappoint although the intensity of the raspberries finally gives a bit to the cranberries and pomegranate, and it produces an intensely fruity and sweet flavor without any tartness. By the way, the sweetness is held nicely in check and is not overwhelming but perfectly proportioned. Of course, the finish is smooth and sweet but short and to the point. If I could bake this flavor profile into a pie, I could sell a million pies a day. On the rocks, it rocks as the raspberry flavor finally settles down enough to play nice with the other flavors. Again, it makes a terrifically interesting martini that could provide the perfect counterpoint to a pepperoni pizza or even a warm brie. Either way you consume this vodka, it’s pretty damn good.

If you can find any of them near you, a 750 ml bottle that weighs in at 40% ABV will set you back around $31.00, and it is worth it.

By George Brozowski

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